Paint Duel Aficionado Gifts

Artists of the wild west.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Skate or die."

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"Only one of us can be 'The Funny One'."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Hazards of mouse painting

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

A Christmas tree self portrait

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Artist Retrospective.

Alberto Giacometti.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Eugene Delacroix

Two New Paintbrushes

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Sawrd Fighting

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

Artist painting a dancer.

The Worst Date Ever