Pain-free Living Advocates T-Shirts

"Say aaargh!" (Dentist presents his bill to a patient).

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"I'm for getting away from it all but Harry always brings it all with him."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Any idiot can take the rat out of the race. The trick is getting the race out of the rat!"

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'

'Our reputation for longevity is based on several factors: hard work, simple food, lack of stress and the inability to count correctly.'

"For crying out loud Bill, we're pieces of broccoli. Can you just sit down and vegetate for awhile?"

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

Beer 50

Welcome to our valley! It is a sanctuary as we have very little human activity here: there is no mobile phone or Wifi reception...

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

"I hear furlough's being extended."

Hermit

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

'Let me be the one to tell him he won the Relaxed Manager of the Year Award.'

'Why live each day to the fullest? You have 9 lives.'

'We're getting nowhere fast, Fred -- maybe we should slow down a little.'

"With 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest, could you rate the pain of your headache?"

Fakir's driving seat.

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

Guilt-relief olde grain cereal.