Pager Philosopher Gifts

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

Doubt or Certainy

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

I am so late for a hair appointment

No Action Comics

'We seem to be at that point where science leaves off and theology begins.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

I lactate, therefore I am.

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

Sorry I've got Writer's Block.

I think therefore...

"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."

'Joy, do me a favor. . . call my pager number. . . I wanna make sure it works. Wait 'til I go into the living room.'

'In with the warden !'

'I have to go now - I'm being beeped.'

A thinker seeing his own thought.

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to Conservative."

Wind-up Writer

"No wonder we never achieve anything. All we ever do is ruminate!"

"It's a retro ring."

'Is it good money that drives out bad, or bad money that drives out good?'