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BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Pastries and Candy

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Jorge Luis Borges

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

David and Goliath.

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"He's been downgraded to a Category One."