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Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"Gretel, I think we should have left a paper trail instead of breadcrumbs."

Fishing Stories

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'He was a great writer'

"Captain, it appears to be some kind of paragraph."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'As part of the green revolution, our report cards were printed on biodegradable paper...'

'Allow me to place this glass flip-flop on your foot, Cinderella.'

'And finally, we give thanks to our ancestors for settling in this perpetually frozen wasteland, and not somewhere pleasant, like Cabo.'

'Customs have busted Happy and Dopey, act like you're not with them.'

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

"Grandma, where did people get all their fake news before social media?"

'You shook the bottle first, didn't you?'

Hole in the Dyke.

'I'll have to go back to the shop for a sword.'

"Gretel, I don't like living in this culture of fear."

Yellow brick road traffic cop

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

Thorn in a Lion's Paw

Apple shooting a person (à la William Tell)

"Is there an alternate ending?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

'I've often wondered what happened to that idiot kid Jack, after he took those bean home to his mom.'

Geoffrey Chaucer

"Oh, no. Dude, are WE the bad guys?"

"Lucky I was able to find all you guys close to my house."

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

'Those were the good old days: Little Red Riding hood...The Three Pigs...'

"Playing blind man's buff and marbles wasn't so bad."