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Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

"Gretel, I think we should have left a paper trail instead of breadcrumbs."

Fishing Stories

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'He was a great writer'

"Captain, it appears to be some kind of paragraph."

"He was just a year away from retirement."

'As part of the green revolution, our report cards were printed on biodegradable paper...'

'Customs have busted Happy and Dopey, act like you're not with them.'

'And finally, we give thanks to our ancestors for settling in this perpetually frozen wasteland, and not somewhere pleasant, like Cabo.'

'Allow me to place this glass flip-flop on your foot, Cinderella.'

Hole in the Dyke.

"DUDE, even if you do slay the dragon, you're making a huge heteronormative assumption."

"Grandma, where did people get all their fake news before social media?"

'I'll have to go back to the shop for a sword.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'You shook the bottle first, didn't you?'

"Gretel, I don't like living in this culture of fear."

Apple shooting a person (à la William Tell)

Thorn in a Lion's Paw

"Is there an alternate ending?"

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

"When I was your age, we walked three miles through the snow to school, and didn't have laptops on our school supply list."

Yellow brick road traffic cop

Cold War Stories

"We wouldn't have to come here if Goldilocks hadn't stolen our porridge."

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

'I met a circus acrobat on holiday, two performances a night, and a matinee on Sunday.'

"Playing blind man's buff and marbles wasn't so bad."

Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.

'Oh I got away alright, but you should have seen him telling his friends how big I was: Men are such liars!'

'Those were the good old days: Little Red Riding hood...The Three Pigs...'

"Oh, no. Dude, are WE the bad guys?"

"Lucky I was able to find all you guys close to my house."