Pacifist Humorist Gifts

The bomb shield.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

Trump! The Musical

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Optimist

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."