Oxymoron Appreciator Gifts

'Are we having fun yet?'

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Final words on gravestones.

The Elephant in the Womb

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Oscars 2024

Paving over the window-box

"Care for an oxymoron?"

Leonard Nimoy

"Please don't go!"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

'Eddie, politicians everywhere are kicking cans down the road, so maybe it's time to get in on the boom in tin.'

Business Cliches

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'I don't think you grasp the gravity of the situation.'

"If we got one of those we wouldn't need to migrate!"

"No son, American English isn't redundant; it's an oxymoron."

Neither Here nor There

In Case of Broken Glass. . . Break Glass.

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

'... And this is one of the artist's early pieces.'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

"Don't make waves."

Botanical violinist

Though he wrote the world's most listened-to melody, few people know of Tony Bombosa, the genius behind AOL Instant Messenger's four-note jingle.

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

"I just love your use of lying"

"We can never get them both to work at the same time."

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

Common Dodo!

Butterfly with talons

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."