Owner Of Mischievous Pets Pillows

'Exactly one year ago, little Bonzo got lost between Brian's fat wrinkles.'

"Bad dog."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Christmas Presents.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"What have you done?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"I'm training him."

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

Cat flushing toilet with dog in bath.

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

Cat lights rocket strapped to a dog

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

'My master is doing Nordic Walking and he needs to see the ophthalmologist!'

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

"Tree's up!"

I'm beginning to see why they call these SELF-inking stamps'

"Perhaps, that will teach you not to wake the tortoise too early!"

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"Let's see now... ummm... one whack on the snout with a rolled up newspaper, and I can let you in."

"We need to watch where we stick our nose don't we."

Thoughtful Dog

When exotic pets clash: 'What makes you think it was my python that ate your warthog!'

'I'm sorry we ever had him declawed.'

'Bad dog!!'

Dog surfing the Net whilst his owners sleep.

"That's my grandfather chasing cars and biting mailmen. He lived life off-the-leash."

'Hurry up. We don't have all day!'