Overzealous Parent Pillows

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

'Look, quit making excuses. You're in kindergarten now. If you ever hope to see grade one, you gotta buckle down.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Sometimes I wish I could clone myself."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"What is this? A note? Gracie must have dropped it..."

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Apparently, my mom knew I'd be bringing my phone to the beach. She put a floatie on it."

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

Typically nouveau-riche - they've bought the house next door as their kids' Wendy House!