Overwhelmed Son Or Daughter Gifts

Triple Witching Hour in Apartment 3-K.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

I work and work and never get ahead

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

Work Life Balance Paperwork

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

After years of shuttling teenagers around, Gina started hallucinating that she was morphing into a Chrysler minivan.

"I'm on the internet, dad...I am trolling!"

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'I'm having a day when I can't catch up!'

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

I used to run every day. But lately its just been a rack for my clothes.

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Sometimes I wish I could clone myself."

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

Mother drinking Gin before going into kid's party.

'I'm introducing a new system of speeding up the housekeeping chores.'

"Well, aren't you an eager beaver."

'How do you expect to compete with the Japanese if you don't learn to walk?'

Man and his little dog stand outside the entrance to a shop readings a sign that says "No little yappy dogs".

'Stop complaining. It's the only way you can afford to live in the school catchment area.'

"I aim to have an ulcer before I'm 35, sir."

Cyber bullying