Oversleeping Skeptic Gifts

"Is oversleeping a real thing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Twenty Blades Razor

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

'So help me, which god?'

Keeper in the bat house asleep upside down.

Rational explanations

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'Oh my god!'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Brains Prohibited sign on door to church

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

"Yes, I've read the bible. I've also read 'Harry Potter', but I don't believe in wizards."

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

"Wake up late this morning?"

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"It was Monday morning, he kept hitting the snooze button, and before he knew it, it had been twenty years."

The Lamest Story Ever Told Is the One That You Tell Yourself Has To Be True

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'