Sleep Skeptics Gifts

Up next, a special report: Insomnia, The Silent Killer. Research shows that 54 percent of American adults suffer a sleeping disorder. Side effects can include lost work productivity, depression, increased heart risk

"Time for bed, guys."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

Hibernation Clock.

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

A day without anxiety is like a day without sunshine...

Sleep Disorder Research.

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

What a night. I slept like a baby. I thought you had insomnia. My doctor gave me Slumberesta, the new sleeping pill. That stuff really works? Puts your right down. Even for an unsuspecting old lady jacked up on caffeine. Huh? Zzz. I must be really boring.

Narcolepsy in relationships.

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

'I can't get out of bed. I don't know if it's the depression or my brand new hand-crafted mattress from Slumber Village.'

"Oh no the central heating system is about to explode...it's your stomach again, isn't it?"