Sleep Skeptics Gifts

"Time for bed, guys."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

"I'm getting paid to assist sleep research..."

'I'm sleepy all the time.'

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

The Dangers of Counting Sheep

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'It's the most amazing case of rapid eye movement I've ever seen.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Hibernation Clock.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

A day without anxiety is like a day without sunshine...

Sleep Disorder Research.

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

"Oh no the central heating system is about to explode...it's your stomach again, isn't it?"

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

Narcolepsy in relationships.

"We'd like you to invest in alternative energy. It's called sleep."

'I can't get out of bed. I don't know if it's the depression or my brand new hand-crafted mattress from Slumber Village.'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'