Oversleeping Expert Gifts

"Wake up late this morning?"

'He overslept.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"You were snoring."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"What's with your hair?"

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

Center For Sleep Deprivation

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.