Overqualified Expert Pillows

Big Student Loan Debt And Nobody Will Hire Me Because I'm Overqualified.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

That party went well.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"The overthinker"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Genius Envy

Pull the udder one

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Too big to fail

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"You're overthinking this."

Flowchart of an idea.

Sometimes a Good Excuse to Get off the Telephone is Hard to Find

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."