Overprotective Shenanigans Pillows

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"What is this? A note? Gracie must have dropped it..."

"Apparently, my mom knew I'd be bringing my phone to the beach. She put a floatie on it."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

"You spoil that child!"