Overprotective Superhero Pillows

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"You spoil that child!"

"My wife says the girls are too young to move out. They're 29 and 26."

'Yes, I know it's a classic 1940 half ton, daddy - but it's also a use it to move my daughter into her dorm room classic.'

"My mom is making walk around in this sterile bubble. It's only until the flu season is over."

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'