Overprotective Superhero Gifts

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"You spoil that child!"

'Yes, I know it's a classic 1940 half ton, daddy - but it's also a use it to move my daughter into her dorm room classic.'

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'

"My mom is making walk around in this sterile bubble. It's only until the flu season is over."

This sun block lotion is so strong, it protects you from sun, lightning strikes, nuclear radiation, and will block cell phone transmissions at 50 feet!

"My wife says the girls are too young to move out. They're 29 and 26."