Overprotective Pet Owner Pillows

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"You spoil that child!"