Overprotective Pet Owner Gifts

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

"You spoil that child!"

"My mom is making walk around in this sterile bubble. It's only until the flu season is over."