Overprotection Advocate Pillows

This sun block lotion is so strong, it protects you from sun, lightning strikes, nuclear radiation, and will block cell phone transmissions at 50 feet!

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"You spoil that child!"

'Yes, I know it's a classic 1940 half ton, daddy - but it's also a use it to move my daughter into her dorm room classic.'

"My wife says the girls are too young to move out. They're 29 and 26."

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'