Overprotection Advocate Pillows

This sun block lotion is so strong, it protects you from sun, lightning strikes, nuclear radiation, and will block cell phone transmissions at 50 feet!

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

"You spoil that child!"

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'

"My mom is making walk around in this sterile bubble. It's only until the flu season is over."

"My wife says the girls are too young to move out. They're 29 and 26."

'Yes, I know it's a classic 1940 half ton, daddy - but it's also a use it to move my daughter into her dorm room classic.'