Overeducation Observer Pillows

"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'They're a very successful family.'

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

The new boy was teased for being different.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

'Could I see you after class?'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

Holiday Overkill.

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"I tried talking to the principal about what I’d be teaching next semester, but he kept changing the subject."

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"I can't believe it's another day closer to the end of school. This is the saddest time of the year. At least until tomorrow...then that will be the saddest time of the year."