Overprescription Observer Pillows

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Gone to seed.

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

Holiday Overkill.

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Serves me right for frowning.'

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

Opposing viewpoint.

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

"As you can see our policy on overdrafts has changed."

Suicide by overeating.

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'

"Ah, Mr. Small. . . come in and let's discuss your request for an overdraft."

Notice! Management hates to see associates working overtime. So, please keep your doors closed. Thanks!

"Ah, it looks like ol' doc butterfingers will be working on this guy!"