Overcoming Travel Anxiety Gifts

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Airplane Mode.

Airport

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Confusing directions.

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'We want to get as far off the beaten path as our WiFi coverage allows.'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

How to deal with rude customers.

Fred prays that he remembered to put on clean underwear that morning.

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"I hate travel."

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

You are here.

'I was less stressed before we came on holiday.'

'I'm sorry you find the insurance too expensive,madam,but I doubt they have lifebelts your size!'

Excess Baggage: Airport checkpoints we'd all like to see...

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

'I'm taking the laptop so that all my internet friends can come on holiday with me.'

"Flight prices will go down, then they'll go up, and then you'll buy a ticket at the worst possible time."

Airport Security Scanner Sees More Than You Think

"That's a service they offer for parents traveling on vacation with their kids."

Non-Travellers' Tales

"Think of this as a 'Be here now' exercise."