Over-cautious Person Pillows

"Crime is so bad around here, that I always immobilise my car."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

No Immediate Danger

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

'This ladder is rotten!'

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Health and safety nightmare.

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Are you ready to rock within your means so as not to lose sight of what’s really important?"

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

Half a loaf is better than none..

'It's just a routine operation, Mr. Bush. No need to have your lawyer present.'

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

Gymnast on balancing beam about to slip on a banana skin.

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

Despite some overgrown lawns, the neighborhood is terrific. For sale. The seller's yard is meticulously tended. Imagine letting him play here everyday! Just treated with pesticide.

"She wants to make sure we don't lose her money..."

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'