Outrage Critic Pillows

"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."

No-Work Orange

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Salvador Dali's cats.

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

'How rude!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"I'm not going into college today, I don't feel enough sense of outrage."

Balance Sheets in Space

Government a la Carte

'Damned tourists.'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

Things are looking up!

"I'm just seeing if there's anything to be outraged at."

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

The muse for letters to the editor.

"I wouldn't say you embarrassed yourself. It was more like social self-immolation."

"Public display of rejection"

'Well, are you wearing clean underwear or not?'

Social comment on the time-honoured tradition of attaching a Just Married sign to the newlyweds car

No shoes, No shirt, No Service.