Outlook On Life Gifts

The end is near! Wacko. The end is far!

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

Optimist

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Always expect the best

"Well, so much for my lucky hat! I've worn it to five interviews and not ONE callback!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'Wow, that is a really big goal!'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

"Half-full. Those were the days."

'Every day son, I feel on top of the World!'

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

'Unleashing that ancient curse has done wonders for my cardio.'

"Remember that crazy optimistic forecast we had?!?"

"Staying true to our mission, even our security cameras have rose colored lenses."

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

Saguaro Cacti.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Looking back, I should have said yes when Sophia Loren asked me to elope. Eventually, even hindsight isn't 20/20.

"Please program my dashboard to only show good news."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

'A white cat! That's good luck.' 'It doesn't work that way.'