Outdoor Safety Pillows

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

"I'm just checking my balance..."

"The DEC advises hikers to stand out by wearing bright orange. I feel so much safer now!"

Alberta on fire

'His last wise words were 'watch out for erosion'.'

'Yes, sir, most accidents happen around the campfire...'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Relaxing in the Sun

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Dog Crossing

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"This might surprise you, but not everyone finds the smell of a rain-soaked world invigorating."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'