Outdoor Designer T-Shirts

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Gardener

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

The World's Easiest Airport

"Garden variety allergies."

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

"I love your work!"

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

Weeds

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'Hours out here in the freezing cold and not a deer in sight! That's it - I'm going home!'

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Windchimes

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Flower sniffer

"She's had a lot of work done."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"How long do they live? Watering them is costing us a fortune."

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Hedge Car

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."