Ottoman Empire Fan Pillows

'I take it then that levelling the Balkans first is not an option?'

'I was something of a young Turk myself, once.'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Hadrian's Wall

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

The Fall of Gnome

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Drunk Vampire

"Efficiency tombs available"

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

The de-friending of Julius Caesar

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

Spells. I love Wiccanpedia!

Candle Size

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

Getting to Know You

'What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!'

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

Britain in 410AD

Hadrian's Fence

Vampire practical jokes.

Gingerbread House out of Candy.

Piano eight hands.

'Of course I just retweet everything I see - I'm a parrot.'

News of the Day - Dissolution - 'Will it Break? Will it not break?'

Monster Roller Coaster

'I don't see the problem.'

Gladstone's message that the British people would not support Turkey against Russia in the Balkans

'It appears the empire really is declining and falling.'

"How come you look SO young for your age...?"