Ottoman Empire Pillows

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Window Treatment

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

British Prime Minister

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

So You've Cloned Yourself

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

When life gives you lemons...

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Learn yourself English.

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

The Royal Wii.

William Pitt the Elder

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

"You'll get over him."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

'If you fail to meet your target, you'll lose your Internet privileges for a week.'

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

Lady Jane Grey

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'