Ottoman Empire Pillows

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Window Treatment

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

British Prime Minister

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

So You've Cloned Yourself

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

When life gives you lemons...

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Learn yourself English.

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

William Pitt the Elder

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

Lady Jane Grey

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'If you fail to meet your target, you'll lose your Internet privileges for a week.'

"You'll get over him."

King Richard I

'In that case we will ALL wait for the results of the lab assistant's DNA test on the chalk.'