Otherworldly Communications Pillows

"Is there anybody there?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'What's the matter with them? I thought you said you'd been here before.'

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

'Go to Hell'

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"Great! Just have your aliens get in touch with my aliens!"

Universe Challenge

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

For several years, intelligent beings from outer space have been circling earth. They've tried to make contact but haven't been able to get through corporate phone trees, bad cell reception, clogged voicemail boxes, but, after years of cold-calling numbers, a breakthrough! Hello, thank you for calling. Hello! This is Zork. Hello Zork. How may I help you? I am from another galaxy. I'm making first contact. Wonderful. Wherever you're from, we can work with you. Let's start with your zip code. My z

'A bathroom!!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'My wife tells me he's practicing. But I think he's trying to contact some alien civilization.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'OMG!'

'Hi, Mom!'

'Hey you earthling! Today is the last day of your life!' - Hello Houston... Something is telling me this is the last day of my life!

"Can you hear me now?"

'It's For You.'

Message in a bottle.

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

"A million prayers a day with not a single self-addressed stamped envelope. And they wonder why there's never an answer."

"May I tell you that you have lovely eyes or would that be sexist?"