Oscars Enthusiast Pillows

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Guess what? I won again.'

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Soccer coach of the year.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Oscars 2024

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

May I have the envelope, please?

Barbie Oscars

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."