Ornithophile T-Shirts

'Get a grip.'

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Sundial Time

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"I make it myself!"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

"What did you think was going to happen when you filled the feeder with lasagna?"