Ornithologist Humor Gifts

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Snowmobull

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.