Ornithological Observer T-Shirts

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Duck Hunt

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

The prying mantis,

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

What does aloof mean?

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.