Optics Observer T-Shirts

Betty's Ex, Ray, Glasses.

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

Eye Ball

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Astronaut Selfie.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

Gone to seed.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

No, I don't think they throw those up here for us.

Go Back to New York

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

'Well, we couldn't store all the corn.'

Impractical Gardener.

Space junk.

God's Fly Swat...

Oculist.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Oh, man. Ha ha! The look on your face when that squirrel turned around and started chasing you!"

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

First Contact