Space Observer T-Shirts

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'It would make me feel insignificant if I didn't make so much money.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Crisis.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

Astronaut Selfie.

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

It's only a can of mace. If you don't learn to stop overreacting, we'll never fit in.

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

"Another fly-over planet."

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

"Nope. Still no intelligent life."

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

Atlas juggling with the moon.

God's Fly Swat...

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

Your karma will catch up with you!

Space junk.

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

"That's the Crab nebula and that's the 'load of dots that don't look like anything much' nebula!"

'Walk it off, babe. Walk it off.'