Ornament Maker Gifts

Christmas Craftwork

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Christmas Tree

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"Gesundheit!"

No Instruments Please

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

Drunk Woman Sees Pink Elephants in her Garden.

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Tell me again. Do we weaponize, then monetize, or the other way around?"

'I find the ultrasonic whistle musically limiting, so I've invented an ultrasonic flute...'

The Invention of Bagpipes

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Ernie loves to decorate his Christmas tree. He starts by untangling and testing a string of lights. Every year he makes new popcorn and cranberry garlands. He has to find the right spot for each family heirloom ornament. Now, should I finish it off with Johnny Depp or Beyonce? Ernie has his own idea about putting a star on top!

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

Global Arms Trade

My other viola is a Stradivari.

"You call this opening up?"

Stork delivers a bomb.

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

The Official Talking Christmas Tree in Dress For Excess

Blow Up Christmas Tree

Patterned chick hatching from a Faberge egg.

'Although our tank does not deal with hostility in a positive way, gentlemen, it certainly deals with hostility in an effective way.'

Christmas.

"We're never going to get this tree decorated, if we keep pawing at the ornaments."

'I just think you obvious post holiday high is a little unseemly.'

Terrorism and Weapons Companies.

'To be honest? A little claustrophobic.'

Clip 'n' Send Cards for Lockheed and Martin Marietta

Bird house envy.