Organized Monk Pillows

"This year I'm really gonna get organized."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Spell checker!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Quills - Sizes 1-9

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Monk Prompt

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Well la de da. . .

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

Buddhist photo albums,

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."