Modern-day Monk Pillows

Cable Bill.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Trappist Monk Discord

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Trappist talk show.

Zenboni

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

Meditation vs. Vegetation

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

Zen Master Huineng

Gracebook.

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

A friar