Minimalist Monk Pillows

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'He's busy decluttering.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm going on a retreat."

The Bare Minimum

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"For some, minimalism begins at a very early age..."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Cable Bill.

'Watch yourself.'

Computer literate Monk

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

Coming home to an empty apartment made him realize just how much he needed stuff.

'I keep mine on my IPod.'

"This year I'm really gonna get organized."

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

Losing sense of materialism after being mugged

"I'm going on a retreat."

"New law, Diogenes. We're confiscating your barrel."