Modern Monk Musings Pillows

'Does text messaging violate our vow of silence?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Trappist Monk Discord

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Trappist talk show.

Zenboni

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Meditation vs. Vegetation

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

Cable Bill.

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Zen Master Huineng

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

A friar