Organ Transplant Satire Fan Gifts

'Thanks to my little deal with the organ transplant company, we're finally free of debt, honey!'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Lactose Intolerant

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

I told you we were late!

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'You've got dry scalp.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'