Orchid Growing Gifts

'Don't be alarmed madam - I'm an Orchidophile!'

The Environmentalist

Allotment

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Steamed vegetables."

Tree Passion

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Watering the garden in the rain.

'Go on - they're organic!'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

Flava Superba

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'Fresh eggs!'

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

Do you have air pollution problems?

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'

Garden genomes.

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

GMOs

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

There are many potent chemicals on the market...but private theories are often prefered.

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

"I predict an orchid in the shape of a dry but still fruity Sauvignon Blanc."

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'