Orchid Growing Gifts

'Don't be alarmed madam - I'm an Orchidophile!'

The Environmentalist

Allotment

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Steamed vegetables."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Tree Passion

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Watering the garden in the rain.

'Go on - they're organic!'

What your house plant says about you...

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'

'Fresh eggs!'

Flava Superba

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

Do you have air pollution problems?

Garden genomes.

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

GMOs

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

There are many potent chemicals on the market...but private theories are often prefered.

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

"I predict an orchid in the shape of a dry but still fruity Sauvignon Blanc."