Optimistic Drinkers Club Gifts

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"Do they look tired to you?"

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

Joe's Bar: Revenge is a dish best served with cold beer!

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

FRIENDLY BAR: Gently confirming your every opinion since 1957.

'The usual, Mr, H'

Suitably dressed for Happy Hour.

Archie had finally met his match...

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

"Well, thank you, I'd love to. Are the Himalayas far?"

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."