Optimistic Drinkers Club T-Shirts

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

Joe's Bar: Revenge is a dish best served with cold beer!

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

Suitably dressed for Happy Hour.

'The usual, Mr, H'

FRIENDLY BAR: Gently confirming your every opinion since 1957.

"Well, thank you, I'd love to. Are the Himalayas far?"

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

Archie had finally met his match...

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'I found a homing device in my wedding ring.'