Opium Ponderer Gifts

Why the West is really bothered with Afghanistan.

Wildlife

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Schrodinger's Black Box

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Progress?

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"Woah - random!"

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Loser's Podium.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

A confinement of convicts

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'