Opinionated Foodies Gifts

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Harold, please -- the wine steward is entitled to his opinion, too."

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

'One GM chicken this size can save the slaughter of hundreds!'

'If carrots are so good for night vision, why don't cats eat them?'

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

Guess who's coming to dinner?

"So, you want to compliment the chef on his entree, complain about the main course, and you'd like his recipe for the banoffee pie?"

'One or the other, Mr Yomp, but not both, prayer breakfast OR power lunch!'

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

Restaurant Hygiene

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

'Before we add any more preservatives, let's determine if it's worth preserving.'

"If only the aftertaste came first."

"Are you suggesting that the rest of the menu isn’t special?"

'Is it just me or are these dog food flavors the same as the entrees at the restaurant we ate at last night.'

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."