Foodie Debates Gifts

"Your less-hungry-than-thou thing is very annoying."

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"And now to present the arguments for chlorinated chicken. . ."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Mayo-A-Mayo

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

The Last Dinner

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'Say, did you guys catch that report on the most important meal of the day?' ... 'I swear Breakfast, if you don't shut up already...'

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

Restrooms.

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

"I've been eating genetically modified corn all my life and I don't see what all the fuss is about!"

Yesterday we touched on a controversial topic. We referred to guacamole as a condiment. We recognize these are various schools of thought. Some believe it to be a meal, or side dish. America can sustain different views. It's not like sauerkraut, which is clearly a vegetable. What? Are you insane? I will pummel you! Communist!

The House of Java Cafe was suddenly a house divided. The humble establishment had been divided into faith-based and non-faith-based seating. Heathen! Blasphemer! Cereal-eater! Judgmental scone-lover! You have no values. You have even less! And some walking a not-so-delicate line down the middle. You're all stinkin' losers!

'We do not discuss soybeans on these premises, Mrs. Grommet.'

Meat bi-products.

'Man, I go for genetically modified chicken food!'

'If you put it that way, alright, I agree with you.'

Roseanne4