Argumentative Foodie Gifts

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Carpe pizza"

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'To eat or not to eat?'

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Evolution or Entree

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Working from home I've found the most hazardous machine to be the refrigerator.'

Cafe Philosophique

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

Food for thought vendor serves think tank employees.

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

Man advertises his Deli at a televised protest.

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

"We ask that you help us to appreciate our old traditions...to respect our heritage...and to preserve civilized life on this Earth as we know it. Amen."

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

'If we had eaten at home,we would have saved $48.75 and we wouldn't have had to sit on the floor!'

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"If only the aftertaste came first."

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

The age old dilemma: fry it or diet?

"I was very good...delicious in fact."